Jason Saenz
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kmcg:

sextape-movie:

Sex Tape in theaters July 18

He shouldn’t be wearing pants either. 

Jason already showed his dick in a movie. Let that ass out!

(via benjaminapple)

Source: sextape-movie
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"

Success at writing rarely adds up to anything you can touch. You either write because you enjoy writing or (more commonly) you like how it feels to have written something. These are merely things you do with yourself. Even if, by some miracle, you become Jennifer Egan overnight, you still have to face the same question: Do I want to practice my craft today or not? Can I find meaning here? Does it feel good to do this, even when I fall short? Can I accept that I will usually fall short, that it takes a ton of work to gently massage a bad thing until it becomes a good one?

Because even though you might think you don’t want to work hard at anything, I think you’re wrong. You worked very, very hard to get here. Clearly, you enjoy hard work a lot.

Go watch that documentary about Jerry Seinfeld returning to stand-up comedy after making something like eight hundred million dollars from his sitcom. Because in the end, even for a megarich megastar, it’s all about craft. And WHAT is harder than trying to make a joke funny enough to make a room full of people—PEOPLE SKEPTICAL ABOUT MILLIONAIRES—laugh? Why would Seinfeld try to do something THAT DIFFICULT, that embarrassing and possibly catastrophic? Because the alternative was to retreat to Neverland and hire a doctor with a fondness for propofol.

If you’re not dodging chemical bombs or walking five miles through the desert heat to find potable water, you have to wake up and shut off your bad brain and work. When your work is done, you have to figure out how to shut off your bad brain and relax. You have to recognize and accept, in your bones, that accomplishing everything you’ve ever dreamed of (like Seinfeld) feels a little bit like never having accomplished anything. You will still have to inject meaning into your life every day, somehow, some way.

"

- This week’s Ask Polly is really very good. (via leilacohanmiccio)
Source: leilacohanmiccio
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ucbcomedy:

Please recycle your #WorldCup fad items responsibly. #UCBs Pocketwatch can help you reach this lofty #goal. (at http://ow.ly/z8jbq)

I have all this love for other people & cultures to get rid off, too.

Source: ucbcomedy
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"The United States Patent and Trademark Office has canceled six federal trademark registrations for the name of the Washington Redskins, ruling that the name is “disparaging to Native Americans” and thus cannot be trademarked under federal law that prohibits the protection of offensive or disparaging language."

- In Landmark Decision, U.S. Patent Office Cancels Trademark For Redskins Football Team | ThinkProgress (via mikerugnetta)

As a life long skins fan I have no loyalty to the name, I just want to see the team win. Here… Is another loss.

(via patbaer)

Source: thinkprogress.org
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popculturebrain:

Nathan Fielder (3rd from right) and Seth Rogen (far right) were on the same high school improv team. Point Grey Secondary School, 1998.

To all the stand ups who think improv is stupid, get over yourselves.

(via splitsider)

Source: popculturebrain
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ucbcomedy:

It’s Monday, the weather is beautiful, the sun is shining…Seems like the perfect day to sit at home and watch funny videos.  We’ll help. :-) 

Source: ucbcomedy
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it8bit:

E.T. Carts Confirmed in Alamogordo, NM Landfill

Photos by Pacalin

Amazing! One of the greatest video game legends of all time. TRUE!

Source: it8bit
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This week on Unlimited Lives:  TJ Del Reno, Mary Lordes and Producer Marcus Parks discuss The Flock trailer, Marvel vs. Capcom origins, the upcoming Wolfenstein and the usage of levels vs. boards. Plus, goats!

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johnatcollege:

Hulk Hogan vs. Richard Belzer

Hulk Hogan’s mid-’80s dominance in professional wrestling both revolutionized the sport and took it mainstream. He was everywhere, from cartoons and music to nearly every piece of merchandise you can think of. Naturally, he appeared on the talk show circuit as well. In 1985, Hulk Hogan and Mr. T were invited onto the show Hot Properties, hosted by Richard Belzer (long before he started arresting perverts on Law and Order: SVU).

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Nope, nothing odd about that career arc at all.

Belzer, who looks like he weighs about 102 pounds after a Thanksgiving dinner, prodded Hogan to show him some basic wrestling moves, and Hogan obliged.

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He obliged Belzer’s neck to a 90-degree angle.

When It Got Real

Belzer had spent the whole first half of the show taking shots at professional wrestling and belittling the careers of Mr. T and Hulk Hogan. His desire to see a pro wrestling move was less an earnest request and more an accusation that Hulk Hogan was just an actor. Keep in mind, at the time professional wrestling was still adamant that everything in the ring was real, so when some weedy talk show host challenged Hogan to put a hold on him, Hogan’s natural inclination was to hurt the guy.

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Which, in fairness, wasn’t the worst thing he could have done in this position.

So Hulk Hogan, who had been growing increasingly more furious throughout the show, put Belzer in a front chin lock and, whether out of anger or because Belzer weighed about as much as paper, put enough pressure on the lock to close Belzer’s airway.

It was only a few seconds before Belzer went completely limp. Like Lenny accidentally crushing a rabbit, a tiny portion of Hogan’s brain suspected that something was wrong and he let go. Belzer then crumpled to the floor, completely unconscious, while Hogan stood there and watched him fall. Belzer’s head smacked hard on the concrete floor.

Mr. T, to his credit, attempted to alleviate the anxiety of the crowd by suggesting that “he’s just sleepin’” while a pool of blood slowly started to form around Belzer’s skull. After a few panicked moments where Hulk Hogan showed something like regret for killing a talk show host on his own show, Belzer finally woke up, disoriented and pouring a steady stream of blood down the back of his jacket.

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"Just walk it off, somewhere with a softer floor."

Belzer then sued the pants off of both Hogan and the WWF, demanding $5 million before ultimately settling out of court. So today when Hulk Hogan does his Debt Help Center commercials, it’s hard not to wonder if he looks back on that moment and questions if it was worth actively trying to hurt a guy he outweighed by nearly 200 pounds just to prove a point about professional wrestling no one believed anyway.

Source: johnatcollege
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patbaer:

lulubonanza:

Best School Picture Ever
 n_____n

Nailed it.


Bat dreams

patbaer:

lulubonanza:

Best School Picture Ever


n_____n

Nailed it.

Bat dreams

(via travishelwig)

Source: lulubonanza
Audio

Unlimited Lives: Episode 9

Zombie Ninjas vs. Zombie Nazis

This week on Unlimited Lives: Jason Saenz, TJ Del Reno and Mary Lordes are joined by rapper, actor, comedian and gamer MC Chris to discuss how he got started with Adult Swim working as a animator, putting out albums for over ten years and what games he’s playing. Plus, XBOX Live etiquette, the new Batman: Arkham Knight, a Rockstar edition of UL’s video game show AND the new exclusive track “Where the Ghosts At?” off of MC Chris’ new album Foreverrr.

Listen: http://cavecomedyradio.com/unlimitedlives/zombie-ninjas-vs-zombie-nazis

Subscribe: http://cavecomedyradio.com/rss/unlimitedlives/feed

Download: http://cavecomedyradio.com/sites/cavecomedyradio.com/files/mp3/unlimitedlives/ULepisode9.mp3